To simplify things, we've broken down Zombie types into three categories:1. FAST: They can run and they're full of rage! This type of the undead can be quite resourceful and have some semblance of intellect to them.
Best Escape Method: Car, airplane, motorcycle (car would probably be better than motorcycle), anything motorized that can go faster than the best olympic sprinter. Don't even try to outrun them, you can't.
Hates: Getting run-over by a car, shopping carts, fire, and gunshots to the head.
Likes: Brains
How to defeat a FAST zombie: Best to carry an arsenal of weaponry, or a strong sturdy vehicle than can withstand an impact (see; any American car pre 1978).
2. SLOW: Your typical run-of-the-mill type of zombie. Can usually be out-run and out smarted by you, the potential victim, pretending to be the undead yourself by, limping, putting your arms out, head back and making a "uuuuuggghhhh" groan from the back of your throat.
Hates: Getting run-over by a car, fire, and gunshots to the head, and vinyl records.
Likes: Brains and shopping carts (at least, in my neighborhood).
How to defeat a SLOW zombie: Any blunt object will do. Add in some quick wit and you'll be holed up in the pub in no time.
3. DANCING: If you're lucky enough to get the dancing undead invading your town, there's not too much to worry about. Usually, they'll pop out of the ground for a song or two and then recede back into their final resting place till another mega-hit song comes along.
Hates: Getting run-over by a car, getting set of fire, gunshots to the head, and charlie-horses.
Likes: Scaring couples in the dark and (enter gratuitous MJ joke here).
How to defeat a DANCING zombie: Join in!
Good Luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment